We’ve updated our Terms of Use to reflect our new entity name and address. You can review the changes here.
We’ve updated our Terms of Use. You can review the changes here.

Bird's Eye Penis

from A Lounge Full of Demons by Bert Honour

/

  • Streaming + Download

    Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.
    Purchasable with gift card

      £1 GBP  or more

     

  • Buy the Full Digital Album

about

Bird’s Eye Penis

Just as the audience are finally enjoying something that could be compared to ‘fun’, the worst happens. The dreaded words spill from The Performer’s mouth; “This next one is a poem”. An audible sigh is heard, followed by antagonistic howls.

Attention is lost and tension between stage and floor is renewed. The Devils thirstily consume their beverages and return their attention to their immoral conquests. The Performer is strutting around the stage observing events with a look somewhere between annoyance and arrogance. There is now a fire in his eyes that only ever occurs after the optimum level of scotch has reached his veins. He delivers the ‘song’ far more like a Biblical preacher than a contemporary performer. Only the existence of distorted guitars ensure that the delicate bond between Performer and victim is not completely broken.

That, and the repeated use of the word ‘penis’.

lyrics

Avoiding the realities of life by writing a pointless poem doused in self-pity
Translucent bottles parade the shelves. Drained, standing side-by-side
Their tacky bottoms are now far too cliché to be considered profound
Reluctantly, staring from above at the often-viewed bird’s-eye penis
Undoubtedly, the saddest angle imaginable, though certainly not the scariest
Wondering whether it will soon be consigned to the history books
Along with the strained six-pack, a remanence of sex appeal, and a full head of hair.

Reminiscing of heady and carefree days when hangovers were a bearable affliction
And night time bedroom-based rigidity was all but assured
Bags under reddened eyes were considered a temporary phenomenon
An existential anxiety has now well-and-truly burrowed into the holes vacated
By football, punk-rock and an undeserved feeling of self-assurance
Important memories fade with the continued flowing of time and whisky
And are replaced with an unwelcome, heavily filtered, yet still hurtful, nostalgia.

Whitened hair now sprouts in incorrect, and increasingly unreachable, places
Patience has grown as thin as the joke that now covers my irritable scalp
Weighing up the vice by calorie-counting the alcohol that’s slowly destroying me
The bathroom scales are to be feared and the mirror best avoided if possible
He’ll inevitably only scowl and grunt back at you for what you’ve let him become
But remember without that view from above, it might become obligatory
It’s a sad day when the bird’s eye penis angle is no longer a viable option.

Appreciate the sight while you still can.

credits

from A Lounge Full of Demons, released March 22, 2021

license

all rights reserved

tags

about

Bert Honour image

Bert Honour Oxford, UK

Singer-songwriter from Oxfordshire.

Misguided, wayward and fueled by whisky. Breaker of strings, glasses and eardrums.

Primarily a songwriter and author, Bert is also a mediocre singer, guitarist, pianist and harmonica-ist. ... more

contact / help

Contact Bert Honour

Streaming and
Download help

Report this track or account

Bert Honour recommends:

If you like Bert Honour, you may also like:

Bandcamp Daily  your guide to the world of Bandcamp

On Bandcamp Radio

Featuring interviews with LA music scene pillar Kamasi Washington, and new London-based duo Mrcy.

listen now